6 Signs You're Burned Out On Dating
Dating is supposed to be fun, exciting, and open new opportunities for us as individuals & partners. Burnout is a term we usually hear about work or stressful repetitive things like weight training. But make no mistake - you can get burnt out from dating, and it’s important to recognize it so that you can take a break, re-adjust, or help yourself get through dating burnout using other tools.
What is Dating Burnout?
If you notice you’re feeling a bit fatigued and no longer super excited to be going on first dates, then it’s possible you’re getting burned out on dating. It’s not uncommon for people to experience this. But what most people do wrong is try to push through it without thinking their options through.
Pushing through the fatigue only enhances the burnout and the negativity you’re putting into your dates. It’s going to be nearly impossible to find the right partner in this headspace. So how can we tell if dating burnout is happening?
Signs That You’re Experiencing Dating Burnout
Loss of hope or excitement:
You’ve lost sight of the type of partner you’re truly looking for and are swiping on anyone with a pulse. You’re swiping through all of the potential matches in your area - not even with the intention of finding anyone who excites you. You think it’s the app sending you all the wrong matches, but really, you’ve just gotten super burned out and lost hope.
2. No good matches on dating apps:
You’re feeling pressure to be on more than one dating site at a time. Maybe you are now on 2 or 3 different apps. Artificial pressure to go on dates can lead to getting stuck in endless app convos that lead nowhere. Again, you think it’s the app algorithm but really it’s your approach to dating that has gone from hero to zero.
3. Affecting your mental health - not practicing self-care
Self-care is really vital to successful dating. It’s often overlooked, but if you aren’t taking care of yourself, then it’s going to be very challenging to attract your ideal partner. Remember, like attracts like - and that means you have to be the person you want to date.
Poor self-care can also lead to bouts of depression that spiral out of control, which can lead to thoughts like you’ll be alone forever or that your person doesn’t exist. There is someone for everyone and your partner is probably out there experiencing the same feelings.
4. Seriously struggling with rejection
Rejection is hard - there is no arguing that. Often, men are used to a ‘traditional dating setup’ in which they’ve been experiencing rejection all their dating lives. This is why we suggest women start making the first move - read more about that in my other blog.
Remember that everyone experiences rejection, so you’re not alone. It’s not about you, it’s about them. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t know why someone says no, there are a hundred reasons why they could turn you down that have nothing to do with you. Don’t make their rejection about you, it’s about them.
5. Can’t show up as your authentic self
Stop listening to pick-up artist suggestions. If you think what you’re doing isn’t working then it might be because you lost sight of your authentic self, not because you’re not playing the game right. Sure, you want to follow a dating expert to see what advice they can give that is helpful, but there is a difference between successful advice and pick-up techniques.
6. Not having fun, feels like a job
Lastly, my favorite one is that dating should never feel like a job. When it gets to that point you are definitely burned out, it just might be that time when you make a serious investment into hiring a matchmaker or dating expert. Save your time and have peace of mind with someone else doing the work for you. Dating should be fun, exhilarating, and exciting.
Getting Off the Hamster Wheel
Dating burnout is definitely a real thing and you should know what to do when you’re approaching that feeling. The first step is recognizing the signs - otherwise, you’ll continue to go on first dates with little to no success.
Know that it’s ok to take breaks from dating. It doesn’t mean you give up on finding love, it just means you know how to take care of yourself.
Give yourself a bit of time to do self care and recharge your dating battery. Your date can tell when you are feeling frustrated. It will show in your tone and body language, and remember it’s important to be feeling positive and energetic for a first date. You’re there to impress, not depress your date.
Be you. Tap into your most authentic self. Feel confident in the person you are. Most importantly, don’t get discouraged by dating burnout. It happens to everyone at some point and is in no way a reflection of you. You are amazing and deserve to find love. In fact, we specialize in helping people do just that. Join us today.
