Why Women Should Make the First Move

A little role reversal never hurt anyone, right? 

We’re going to test this idea for dating success in 2023 by suggesting that women should make the first move more often.

Women have historically been taught to “hold out” or “make him come to you”. But maybe men are tired of having to make the first move and the rejection that often comes with it. 

If you want an emotionally intelligent man, it should at least be possible for you to make the first move without offending anyone’s romantic sensibilities.

Why Making the First Move is Easier for Women

Results matter, and people notice patterns in their dating lives.

Many men are simply tired of being rejected. Women feel it too - but it’s really not the same. While we want to acknowledge social progress and realize that this isn’t a hard rule, it’s much more common for a man to cold approach a woman at a bar or social setting than vice-versa. But this also means that men are set up to fail more frequently because all the pressure is on them.

This means it might be to your advantage to approach a cute guy you meet - it will stand out to him, and give you a great chance at getting a number or a date.

How Women Can Make The First Move 

Even if you’re afraid to be super bold or direct, here’s another idea: Make eye contact and smile. Excuse yourself from the group, maybe head towards the bar or a table and wait. If he follows, then strike up a conversation. If he doesn’t follow you there, but he returns the look and smile, then take a deep breath, put on your big girl panties, and go say hi.

Maybe he didn’t follow you because he’s shy or doesn’t want to seem like a stalker. Who knows the reason - it’s not even important. You’re not even necessarily asking the man on a date. You are simply having a conversation. 

Now here’s the key: you don’t want to emasculate him, so this tactic needs balance. Being bold might push you into your masculine energy and we don’t want you to be stuck there. All you are doing is taking the first step. Let him take the next one. It’s a give and take situation. 

If he offers to buy you a drink, asks for your number, suggests a date of any kind, then you’re in. A strong independent woman isn’t afraid to lean into her feminine power. Men keep saying they want a “strong, independent woman”, so be that woman. 

Modern Dating Tactics for New Women

Being this new woman doesn’t mean you take over all the usual “moves” a man would make. It just means you shouldn’t be afraid to make the FIRST move. If he doesn’t reciprocate, then he’s not interested. 

Sure, your ego might be bruised a bit - but don’t let that get you down. The right guy is going to love that you approached him first. 

If this advice resonated with you, check out our podcast episodes,

S3E22: Dating Unfiltered with Karina: The Success Appeal Expert

and

S3 E16: Dating Unfiltered with Kim: Building Love in a Man’s World

where we interviewed two very independent women and how they are making the first move.