Why High Achievers Struggle to Find Good Matches on Dating Apps
Dating apps have become the new normal for meeting potential partners. With a swipe of a finger, you can be connected to someone who shares your interests and passions. But for high achievers, finding a good match on dating apps can be a challenge.
Many high achievers, whether they're entrepreneurs, executives, or professionals, face similar struggles when it comes to finding love online.
The Paradox of Choice
One of the biggest challenges you face on dating apps is the paradox of choice. With so many options available, it can be overwhelming to decide who to match with. You are used to making decisions quickly and efficiently, but when it comes to dating, you may find yourself paralyzed by too many choices. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of swiping, without ever finding a match that feels right.
You would think that dating apps, with their endless pool of potential matches, would make it easier for high achievers to find their perfect partner. However, the opposite is true. As a high achiever your dating pool actually decreases and here’s why.
The Busy Schedule and Lack of Time
As a high achiever, you're often driven by a desire to succeed in all areas of your life, rightfully so, that’s how you became a high achiever in the first place. But between work, networking, and personal growth, you often find yourself with very little free time to dedicate to swiping through profiles and going on dates. This lack of time makes it difficult to build connections and get to know potential partners beyond a surface level.
It also probably means you're not giving your matches much attention. Whether it’s long stretches between chat messages or short responses, the people you match with are moving on to those who engage more frequently.
Remember, dating apps require a significant investment of time, and you may struggle to find the time to swipe and chat with potential matches. This can lead to frustration and a sense of burnout, which can further reduce your chances of finding a good match.
The Fear of Settling
High achievers have high standards for themselves, and they often bring those same standards to their dating life. You know what you want and what you don't want in a partner, and you’re not willing to settle for less. While there is nothing wrong with having high standards, it can make it difficult to find a good match on dating apps, where people often present a curated version of themselves. It is also those high standards that lead to the fear of settling, which then can also lead to a cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction and disappointment.
The fear of settling for someone who doesn't meet your standards can be debilitating and cause you to push potential matches away. This will lead to a reluctance to commit to anyone, and a constant search for someone who meets your high standards.
Cracking the Intimidation Code
High achievers are often perceived as intimidating by others, especially on dating apps. Your success, ambition, and confidence can come across as intimidating to potential partners, making them less likely to engage in conversation or pursue a relationship.
You might wonder why success, ambition, and confidence can be perceived as intimidating. Well, think about it: when someone sees your impressive career or educational background, they may feel like they can't measure up. And if you're confident and assertive in your interactions, they may feel like they're being dominated or overshadowed.
Here’s an example:
Let's say you're a successful lawyer who enjoys running marathons. Instead of talking only about your law career on your dating app profile, you could also include a photo of yourself at the finish line of a marathon. This shows that you're not just all work and no play, and it might attract potential partners who share your interest in fitness.
Small tweaks to your profile and a few more to your first date skills can make all the difference.
The Impostor Syndrome
As a successful high achiever, you may struggle with feelings of impostor syndrome when it comes to dating. You may feel that you are not worthy of love, or that your achievements are not enough to attract a good partner. This can lead to a lack of confidence in the dating process, and a reluctance to put yourself out there.
It's important to remember that everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time, and it's completely normal to feel this way. The key is not to let these feelings hold you back from finding love.
One way to overcome impostor syndrome is to focus on the qualities that make you a great catch, both in your career and in your personal life. Remind yourself of all the amazing things you've accomplished, and the qualities that make you a unique and interesting person. With a little bit of self-confidence, you'll be able to put yourself out there and find the perfect match on dating apps.
How To Overcome These Challenges
Be upfront about your busy schedule and lack of time. Let potential partners know that you value their time and appreciate their patience in getting to know you.
Focus on building genuine connections. Look for potential partners who share your values and interests, and prioritize getting to know them beyond a surface level.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. Embrace your success and confidence, and don't worry about being perceived as intimidating. The right partner will appreciate those qualities in you.
Dating can be frustrating for high achievers who are looking for someone who shares their values and drive. But stay open-minded, and be yourself. With the right mindset and approach, you can find a good match on a dating app, even as a high achiever. So don't give up hope – the right person is out there waiting for you!
