10 Signs You're Falling In Love
What Are the Stages of Men Falling in Love?
Falling in love means different things to different people. In fact, you might find yourself asking “Am I in love with this person? How do I know?” It’s not simple, but it’s also not rocket science.
Before we dig into the ‘how you know’, it’s important to check the timeline to see what stage you might be in so that you don’t mistake a new feeling for something more than it really is. When asked about what men are like when falling in love, my dating coach colleague out of New York, Hunt Ethridge, told DatingAdvice.com, "A man in love is a man inspired, driven by a force greater than himself to be the best partner he can be."
The Stages of Falling in Love - With Examples!
Attraction and Infatuation: When guys fall in love, it usually begins with a physical attraction spark and surface-level connections. This is when the chemistry begins, and infatuation sets in. It's very important for men to realize that this phase, while exciting, is NOT the same as true love. Realize that while it's the foundation, it’s not the destination of love… luckily for us, it gets better over time.
Example: Chris met Emily at a friend's party, and they instantly clicked. They flirted, laughed, and exchanged witty jokes, and learned they had common interests - and of course, a strong physical connection. Chris felt the initial flutter of excitement, but he knew it was just the beginning.
Building Connection: As the relationship progresses, the focus shifts from that initial physical attraction and infatuation to building a deeper emotional connection. Shared values, communication, and understanding become pivotal. Men should actively aim to engage in meaningful (i.e. deep) conversations, showing vulnerability and actively listening with empathy.
Example: Mark and Sarah's connection deepened as they discovered shared values and aspirations. Mark took the time to understand Sarah's dreams and fears, creating a bond beyond the superficial while later showing her through his actions that he could help her navigate toward those goals and minimize her fears.
Attachment and Commitment: Falling in love involves developing a sense of attachment and commitment to your partner. This stage requires trust (that they care for you as well as doing what is said), loyalty, and a willingness to invest emotionally to overcome obstacles that life will throw at you. In fact, this is often when you ask “is this what love feels like?” Men should understand true love involves both emotional and practical aspects, leading to a commitment to shared goals and growth.
Example: David and Olivia reached a point where they decided to commit to a long-term relationship and move in together despite being on opposite sides of town. They acknowledged the challenges but were willing to face them together and communicate on how to resolve the challenge in a way that works for both of them to build a foundation for lasting love.
Timeframe and Influencing How We Fall in Love:
Generally, most men take longer to fully commit emotionally than women. Men may take longer to recognize they're falling in love because they often need to understand it in their minds before feeling it in their hearts. They might need time to assess their feelings and often appreciate a gradual progression in a relationship. Women might connect emotionally more quickly, and for some, the emotional bond may be a strong relationship-deepening driving force in the early stages of a relationship.
The timeframe for falling in love VARIES WIDELY and depends on a few factors:
Individual Differences: People have unique personalities, unique situations, and past experiences (both helpful and hurtful) that affect their emotional readiness. Some may fall in love quickly, while others take more time to develop the trust necessary for deep connections.
Quality of Interactions: The depth and quality of the interactions we have with our partners play a crucial role in how quickly we fall in love. Spending meaningful quality time together and engaging in open, honest communication accelerates the process.
Emotional Availability: ultimately both people need to be emotionally available and willing to invest in the relationship. Emotional baggage or unaddressed issues about love and partnership will slow down the process.
Life Circumstances: External factors, such as career demands, family obligations (maybe they are exiting a nasty divorce), or personal challenges, can impact the pace at which individuals fall in love.
Shared Values and Goals: Having aligned values (political, religious, views on family, desires for children, relationship with money, travel, pets, etc.) and shared long-term goals will create a stronger connection and accelerate the journey towards love.
10 Signs that You are in Love:
Prioritization: You consistently prioritize her needs and desires, showing that you value her happiness above your own.
Emotional Investment: You become emotionally invested in her well-being, showing genuine concern and care for her feelings and experiences
Commitment: You demonstrate a willingness to commit to her on a deeper level, whether through verbal expressions of commitment or actions that reflect long-term planning and consideration. Love takes commitment from both people.
Support: You provide unwavering support in both good times and bad, offering a shoulder to lean on and actively working to help her overcome challenges.
Vulnerability: You open up and become vulnerable with her, sharing your fears, dreams, and insecurities, which signifies a deep level of trust and intimacy. Falling in love is easier with full vulnerability.
Respect: You respect her opinions, boundaries, and autonomy, valuing her as an equal partner in the relationship.
Attention to Detail: Paying attention to the little things that matter to her is a way of falling in love - whether it's remembering important dates, surprising her with thoughtful gestures, or simply listening attentively to her stories.
Intimacy: You seek emotional and physical intimacy with her, desiring a deeper connection beyond just surface-level interactions. Love is not the same thing as intimacy, but they can be deeply intertwined.
Communication: You communicate openly and honestly with her, fostering a sense of transparency and understanding in your relationship.
Joy in Her Happiness: You experience genuine joy and fulfillment in her happiness and successes, celebrating her accomplishments as if they were your own.
